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Ex-wife wants to move back to Sweden with the kids

Should I move with them?
Martin565
post 19.Nov.2020, 09:23 PM
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Joined: 4.Oct.2017
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Grommet
post 20.Nov.2020, 03:44 AM
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SteffromBristol
post 20.Nov.2020, 10:48 AM
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Joined: 18.Nov.2020
Hi all, thank you again for your comments and advice. I have a meeting booked with a lawyer for next week, to figure out exactly where I stand legally and my rights. I would prefer to solve this "situation" amicably without going down the lawyer route, as the relationship with my ex-wife has been friendly since the separation and that has benefitted the kids immensely.

She has been obsessed with the idea of moving back to Sweden for the last 5/6 years. I don't get it, she has a great job here, she makes a lot of money, we live 5 minutes from each other so the kids can freely go from my place to hers, we have a great arrangement, the kids are happy and settled. Her family (parents, brother, and nieces) live in Sweden, but she and the kids already spend 2 months every year there between the various holidays. She has a summer house there, so it is not like she doesn't have a "base" in Sweden already. In Sweden she would be paid a lot less than here, she'd have to deal with the horrendous weather, she'd have sole custody of the kids with no respite, and the kids would be separated from their father. What's so appealing about that arrangement?!

I don't get it.
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ChocOwl
post 20.Nov.2020, 01:53 PM
Post #19
Joined: 17.Jan.2011
QUOTE (Grommet @ 18.Nov.2020, 03:55 PM) *
Any problems, and courts will side with the mother, in Sweden.

Nope
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Gamla Hälsingebock
post 20.Nov.2020, 02:12 PM
Post #20
Joined: 21.Dec.2006
QUOTE (SteffromBristol @ 20.Nov.2020, 11:48 AM) *
Hi all, thank you again for your comments and advice. I have a meeting booked with a lawyer for next week, to figure out exactly where I stand legally and my rights. I would p ... (show full quote)


Definitely a sad situation.and hard to make a comment on...
Your last words do not address the fact that the woman wants to go "home"...what some think of as uncomfortable is accepted as part of normal life for others...
It would seem the woman has been unhappy for years as indicated...

Good luck to both of you...
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SteffromBristol
post 20.Nov.2020, 02:22 PM
Post #21
Joined: 18.Nov.2020
QUOTE (Gamla H?lsingebock @ 20.Nov.2020, 02:12 PM) *
Definitely a sad situation.and hard to make a comment on...Your last words do not address the fact that the woman wants to go "home"...what some think of as uncomfor ... (show full quote)



I get that she is unhappy, that she misses home, and she wishes that she was closer to her family. But is that enough of a reason to uproot your currently happy children and condemn them to a life where they see their father once a month for a couple of days?
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Martin565
post 20.Nov.2020, 02:30 PM
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Grommet
post 20.Nov.2020, 05:21 PM
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What do your kids want? If they don't want to go, that should be made clear to their mother.
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TheExpatEagle
post 20.Nov.2020, 08:11 PM
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TheExpatEagle
post 20.Nov.2020, 08:12 PM
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TheExpatEagle
post 20.Nov.2020, 08:13 PM
Post #26
Joined: 23.Aug.2016
QUOTE (Grommet @ 20.Nov.2020, 05:21 PM) *
What do your kids want? If they don't want to go, that should be made clear to their mother.


They are kids. They do what they are told!
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Gamla Hälsingebock
post 20.Nov.2020, 08:17 PM
Post #27
Joined: 21.Dec.2006
QUOTE (SteffromBristol @ 20.Nov.2020, 03:22 PM) *
I get that she is unhappy, that she misses home, and she wishes that she was closer to her family. But is that enough of a reason to uproot your currently happy children and c ... (show full quote)



I think you already know the answer to that...
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Martin565
post 20.Nov.2020, 08:20 PM
Post #28
Joined: 4.Oct.2017
QUOTE (TheExpatEagle @ 20.Nov.2020, 08:11 PM) *
Apparently it is a fake degree.


Only thing fake about me are the right jabs I feint before I throw in the big fast left hook.
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*Guest*
post 21.Nov.2020, 07:34 AM
Post #29


OP,
Have you considered that with covid she thinks that having a good job and lots of money isn't necessarily happiness? Perhaps she is placing more value on everything else now? Old friends and family included.

It's also possible that she's looking forwards and whilst she might want the kids father involved with the kids, she doesn't want her life plan to revolve around the Ex's location and not having a job there means you have less ties to Switzerland anyway. Whilst you might be amicable, you are still separated and divorcing.
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SteffromBristol
post 21.Nov.2020, 10:11 AM
Post #30
Joined: 18.Nov.2020
QUOTE (Skogsbo1 @ 21.Nov.2020, 07:34 AM) *
OP,Have you considered that with covid she thinks that having a good job and lots of money isn't necessarily happiness? Perhaps she is placing more value on everything els ... (show full quote)


I get that, but when you have kids you don't get to make unilateral decisions that profoundly affect the lives of three people just because you want to plan your life the way you want. When you have kids you accept that your life will be tethered to your co-parent's life until the kids have grown up, and you accept to put your kids' best interest above your own. Or so I thought.
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