(edit title) Sambo problems .. advice? Follow on from the expat dating thread Options

[dave.smith]

Hi all,

The thread by Mark on expat dating got me thinking about the problems in my own relationship with my sambo, which have been simmering for a while now. I have always been reluctant to bring it up and have tried to deny it and just move on, but I am losing patience now.

I always thought I was lucky to have such an awesome sambo, she is definitely hot by UK standards and even Swedish tandards, we both share interests, have the same attitudes to a lot of things, etc.

However, there are glaring problems that I can no longer get around, for instance:

She never pays for anything. Even though she has a part time job, I end up paying all of the expenses, paid for the house, cars, everything. At first I didn´t mind this as I do earn a lot more than she does, but in light of everything else, it is starting to bug me.

Secondly, she hardly ever helps in the house or in the yard, always leaves a mess and lets me clean it up. I like things in an orderly fashion, she obviously thinks it is lagom to just leave everything all over the place and make a huge mess. The worst part is, if I am late in doing something or leave it because I am doing something else, she complains bitterly. Like if I am visiting a friend or gyming for longer than usual, she will complain about that.

It irritates me because she really could help more, she is in a perfect position to do so. Her routine generally is: wake up, have breakfast (made by me) , ride the horses, go to her part time job, come home and goof around. Mine is: wake up, make the breakfast, eat, feed and ride the horses, go to work, deal with clients and employees, come home, clean up the house and yard, look after the horses, make dinner, eat, then perhaps goof off if I have time. Unfair, isn´t it ??

I don´t know what to do anymore. We have a lot of arguments over these things, and she just doesn´t seem to get it at all...

[smokin joe]

part exchange her in for an essex bird

 

 

[mazz]

Are you ready to give an ultimatum,she might get it if she thinks the golden goose has laid its last egg!!

[markkeo]

i can relate to a lot of that , lol . although she was a great cook and could wash . but would leave shit everywhere ...sent u a pm mate.

[smokin joe]

ok the truth yer

NO PERSON IS PERFECT (well i am almost) ok she is lazy and tight...you have to look at the good points dude..dont dwell on her bad points.
my swedish wife has those traights u mention..but her plus points far far out weigh her negative points.
stop moaning to strangers and enjoy your life with her...

[smokin joe]

.

 

 

[*Guest*]

You have to put pressure on her.

Stop doing things, start going and doing things you want, allude to closing the whole
relationship down and going your own way, stop making breakfasts and cleaning up, etc.

Your sambo has you by the short hairs and until you indicate it must stop, it will just get worse.

[dahlin]

And WHY do you keep cleaning up after her and making the breakfast etc. ???

I don't understand why you are not discussing this with her and negotiating the division of labour / finances etcetera.

Sounds like it's time for a bit of reality therapy for her and a bit less passive agression for you.

As Dr. Phil would say "you teach people how to treat you"

[mazz]

What ever your smokin joe ,knock it the head it's making you far to easy to please.

[Greg in Canada]

If you pay all the bills and do all the work it sure sounds like your lady has found herself either a sugar daddy, sucker or slave. Let's hope that the fact she's "hot" isn't her only attribute.

Sounds like you need to have a very serious talk face to face talk with her.

That's my $.02

[I'm Lost]

Well Dave Smith, I have got to say, at the risk of us ever being friends, that it sounds like you are with her simply because she is hot by UK standards ( a very LOW bar to pass by the way).

I am guessing you got together with her because she was hot and you didn't give a rats ass about her personality. A trait we all share as males of our species.

Now some time has passed, you've gotten used to getting to have sex with a hottie and are starting to see her personality, which you don't like so much.

Is she hot enough to put up with the typical hot girl shit? If so, get used to it and stop your whinging (or was it bragging?). If not, move on. She is not going to change.

[I'm Lost]

Ya know what Dave? Since you can afford the house and gardens and horses and all the rest of the luxury lifestyle, it would seem you could afford the hottie too, why not just hire a maid to take care of that other shit?

[I'm Lost]

One last thing, (I just can't leave this one alone! Hahaha!) having a maid would give her someone besides you to take out her crap on when she is feeling all bitchy female!

[cab]

Welcome to the Swedish so called way !
Me, together with a fine Swedish woman, moved here from Aussie land had to conform with Swedish law !!
All went well until the separation after marriage 6 years later and the step sons gained more maturity ;think not !!
Now she and son plus stepsons live freely at my residence without paying a krona while I have paid everything in bills and mortgage since years before now; even in Australia.
They are given preference against me with social security for maintenance even though I have paid 45,000 sek plus house loan every month until now from just this April, 2009 !!!
I am unemployed, inneboende (guest), in a 4*3metre room with no bathroom or kitchen!!!
I became a Swedish citizen last year but feel like a refuge at times; damn maybe that would be easier !!!!
Stick to your guns and fight for your rights as a human being, don´t get driven over !!!!!
Good luck and you are welcome to contact me for my advice before end of month, then I am leaving for the sun !!!!!!

[I'm Lost]

Are you ready to give an ultimatum,she might get it if she thinks the golden goose has laid its last egg!!

If she is really a hottie, she won't get it at all, she'll just move on to the next sugar daddy with out a backwards glance. And the guys will be lining up to let her crap all over them.

The above poster is right though, you really do teach people how to treat you. Horny guys the world over have taught the true hottie how to treat them.