(edit title) Six months in... does it get better? Regretting moving here Options

[mjennin2]

I live out in the middle of nowhere and it's great. Relaxed atmosphere, close to nature.

I'm with you on this one So much nature and always things to do! Hiking/fishing/swimming/horseback riding/gallivanting/canoeing/biking/gardening/running during the warm months, cross country skiing/snowshoeing/building snow forts and pummeling my sambo as he arrives home from work in the cold months... I don't have a driver's license and essentially live 30 minutes from the train so I don't go anywhere, and I am hardly ever bored! I feel like living outside of the city comes with a fantastic benefit of being able to get close to your neighbors. Country folk are a different breed. My neighbors come over all the time and have fika or we have BBQs or whatnot. Most of them are a million years old and have lived here their whole lives, but my god do they have stories to tell! One of them let me help him deliver a cow calf this year

But then again, I suppose it depends on what kind of life / lifestyle one wants to have. I find these things all immensely exciting and fulfilling. I came from Los Angeles so I definitely appreciate the open nature and space to frollick around naked if I so choose ;D

[Mistress_Of_Doom]

I'm a simple girl too, and having lived in the city in the past I wouldn't say that there are more things to do there. Maybe just more shops, but who is really that materialistic anyway. Mostly old people live around here too, and I'm quite surprised that everyone can speak English! I don't have a driver's license either and public transport doesn't run very often, but I like that time almost goes a bit slower around here.

I came here with an open mind and found the small towns charming, but maybe others came here expecting to get more out of a fast-paced lifestyle or party-style nightlife. Also another thing that drags people back is when people who are under-qualified but come here seeking better job opportunities, but in reality if you can't find anything good in your own hometown what makes you think Swedes want you to work for them? Especially if your skills aren't in high demand, or your skill level/passion isn't above the rest.

I don't mean to sound like I have a perfect life, but it has been easy for me to live in Sweden happily. The only thing I really miss is authentic Chinese food, and it's not so easy to find in V?rmland

[Bsmith]

Don't be talking it up too much, girls. We don't need a rush of people moving out to the country and spoiling everything!

[Gamla Hälsingebock]

What is needed here is that some people move out of Sweden...

[Mistress_Of_Doom]

Haha oh I see where the hostility comes from then. But really it's not for everyone here. Not everyone likes a quiet lifestyle if they are used to the city.

[Gamla Hälsingebock]

It's the Swedish way...

[rajarana]

I'm sorry to hear about your troubles OP. Were you able to get help?

Hope you're doing better now.

[axiom]

One would think most people who write here were forced to move to Sweden, or are being kept as slaves or some indentured servants. If it is really that bad, there is always the option to leave and try for somewhere that works better for you or your wife. What quality of life can t ever be fixing your problems with antidepressants etc.

[*Guest*]

Sorry, I'm not sure if this is the appropriate place, but I'm sure I'm not the first to write something like this... so where could I post this info?:I've been ... (show full quote)

Sorry, I'm not sure if this is the appropriate place, but I'm sure I'm not the first to write something like this... so where could I post this info?:

I've been in Sweden for about six months now and have hated almost every day here, and am seriously regretting coming here. Does it really get better?

The last six months of my life have comprised fighting to survive without a personnummer, fighting to find a place to live (yes, I'm in Stockholm), fighting to furnish the place I now live in which makes me want to cry when I think about how much it costs me, poring through myriad of insurance product info, etc., all in the grim, cold darkness. Every day I work and come home exhausted only to wake up exhausted and start again. It's now nearly May, which means I should be at least trying to enjoy life outside, but now all I want to do is sleep. I don't know if it's either me which is broken or if Sweden/Stockholm just sucks.

I try to be optimistic, but everything is so difficult, and even when I do have some small amount of spare time, I just want to stay home and sleep in the warmth: Despite Swedes telling me I live in a "nice" part of Stockholms l?n, the nearest thing which is marginally interesting is 20 minutes away by bike, so in this weather I either have to muster up the energy to ride through the cold, wet darkness for 20 minutes to enjoy mildly enjoyable beer/food and then 20 minutes back or to be carsick in a crowded bus for 30 minutes there and back: The only marginally "interesting" things I've found here are in S?dermalm and even that is a joke when comparing it to how Swedes imagine it to be (it's nice but in no way have I found it to be "hipster", "alternative", or any of those other things). If I choose to walk, in 10 minutes I can get to a shopping center... whoopee. And this is still better than the temporary places I've had before. look what you made me do lyrics

The only people I know are my colleagues at work, and I have so much to do both at work and outside of it that I have hardly explored Stockholm in the half of a year I've been here... and the paperwork nightmare hasn't even ended and I need to apply for a new residence permit already (I can apply at most six months in advance and I know from my first experiences that it will probably take nearly that long to get it).

I've been cold, wet and on the verge of tears for half a year and honestly have been regularly thinking of ways to kill myself for nearly that time: I came here because I thought it would be a good career/life change, but it seems I've jumped from the frying pan into the (cold, wet) fire. Funnily enough, I've been told by more than one civil servant-type person that I should find a therapist but I don't even have the time to try to find one in a foreign country where I hardly even speak the language, and from my previous experiences in foreign countries, I know that therapists in Europe have absolutely no clue about the issues facing expats/immigrants, let alone non-European ones. And a decent therapist shouldn't even need to understand one's problems in order to help you sort through them, but these therapists are worse at their jobs than most European civil servants are at theirs.

I wish I could just drop everything and run away but I'm so exhausted I can't even plan to do that. I need to know if things really are as grim as they seem or if life here always starts this way.

Thanks for whatever words you can offer. ... (hide full quote)

I don't like my job, my home or my neighborhood. And no matter what I do, I'm stuck here for the time being. And I see no other place to go. So these "victories" actually make me even more depressed...

[Bsmith]

And you're going into winter which is a hard time in Sweden. Do you have the resources to take a trip to someplace warm this winter?

[flaneur]

Me too. I hate it.

I have a great job, great salary, I live in central Stockholm and never had any single problem with any bureaucratic procedure.

Still...I hate it.

Damn I want to live in New York, this is all boring bullshit.

[BhuBhuKaZoo]

Me too. I hate it.I have a great job, great salary, I live in central Stockholm and never had any single problem with any bureaucratic procedure. Still...I hate it.Damn I want ... (show full quote)

Me too. I hate it.

I have a great job, great salary, I live in central Stockholm and never had any single problem with any bureaucratic procedure.

Still...I hate it.

Damn I want to live in New York, this is all boring bullshit. ... (hide full quote)

I saw Savage had quote the U.K. as a place many Swedes go and yes, New York is a beautiful city. However, people leave those countries too! I left London, and the U.K. (I have family in the country with a Land Rover and all that) and I just got so fed up with the London life and the country as well. It's the same for many people.

The key is - if you want a change, you should take it on. You only live once and you wouldn't want to look back thinking "what if?"

I moved to Sweden because I love the idea of Sweden - what it represents and the nature that is so abundant here (and unfortunately not being properly protected in the U.K.). Has it lived up to my expectations, not completely - but in other respects, its been better.

I'd lived in New York (albeit for a couple of months only) a few years ago, and again, although I loved the idea of New York, when I was there, I did enjoy it but it reminded me too much of London and the working environment is much too similar (if not even worse).

I would say Flaneur, if you want to go to New York...do it! Its a great experience and one that you don't get without actually going there. It also helps provide some perspective when looking at where you are as well!

Its all well and good saying "this place is horrible" but then having nothing to compare it too but an idea. You've got to live there to see what it's like really!

[Bsmith]

The key is - if you want a change, you should take it on. You only live once and you wouldn't want to look back thinking "what if?"

Exactly right.

[*Guest*]

Change is never easy - especially when you came here without being fully prepared and probably, if we are to be honest, glamorizing the situation. I say this because I have b ... (show full quote)

Change is never easy - especially when you came here without being fully prepared and probably, if we are to be honest, glamorizing the situation. I say this because I have been in your shoes in a lot of ways - it's a folly we all often times commit.

Having moved to a foreign country where you can't yet speak the language should have been a red flag that it will take time for your to assimilate and get the hang of things. Also by your references to weather, I suppose you weren't entirely prepared for the things that come with moving to Sweden in the winter - both mentally (darkness) and physically (vit-D defficiency).

The good news is that you are going through hell right now. Yes, that is the good news! Because, once you pick yourself up by the bootstraps, start to get a handle on the language and soak up the beautiful spring and summer weather (if it ever comes! Jesus, why is it snowing right now as I type this??? UGH), you will be so much better off as the months roll onward. Hopefully by the time you celebrate your 1 year anniversary, you will have many triumphs to reflect on and be proud of the the fight.

I moved here a little more than a year ago from the beaches of Southern California. Fancy that for a climate and geography change! And I was also pregnant. If you want to know what "difficult" is, give birth at the onset of winter and swim around in postpartum hormones during the dark months. That was something to write home about, trust me madalin stunt cars 2

But anyway, I digress. It ALWAYS gets better, if you want it to. Moving to foreign countries isn't for everyone. And even for those it is for, it requires a shit shit SHIT ton of work. Language skills, network building, learning how the system works, figuring out cultural mores so you know how to act to get what you want/need... learning that Vitamin D and sunlamps and quality jackets make a world of difference... this is the elbow grease you need to lather on if you want to make it here. You already have achieved the hard stuff - housing and a job. The rest is just fun.

Get a gym membership. Endorphins are nature's opiate, plus it will give you a space to vent, do something positive, and meet people. Take up a hobby, or better yet, come adopt one of the kittens my cat is about to have because fuck if I know what I'm going to do with a house full of cats Start a blog, write, take up sewing, start language classes, learn how to salsa, go to a new restaurant every week and try the one dish you would normally never order, just for the sake of jump starting your senses. Get a pass to the local swim hall and have a swim. Go shopping. Sign up for a half marathon and start training for it. And best of all, it sounds like you are in serious need of a vacation. Croatia is close, beautiful, and cheap as all hell. Go remind yourself that the world is big and no matter where you live, your problems will always follow you - take this time to learn something new about yourself so that even if you do throw the towel in and move back from whence you came, you can at least say it wasn't a defeat but rather just a detour.

<3 ... (hide full quote)

Mmm, OP, one has to believe you are having it easy...think about those millions who would be happy in your predicament,who are living in Zim,DRC, Somalia or even Bulgaria or Romania!!

*just a thought*

[*Guest*]

Change is never easy - especially when you came here without being fully prepared and probably, if we are to be honest, glamorizing the situation. I say this because I have b ... (show full quote)

Change is never easy - especially when you came here without being fully prepared and probably, if we are to be honest, glamorizing the situation. I say this because I have been in your shoes in a lot of ways - it's a folly we all often times commit.

Having moved to a foreign country where you can't yet speak the language should have been a red flag that it will take time for your to assimilate and get the hang of things. Also by your references to weather, I suppose you weren't entirely prepared for the things that come with moving to Sweden in the winter - both mentally (darkness) and physically (vit-D defficiency).

The good news is that you are going through hell right now. Yes, that is the good news! Because, once you pick yourself up by the bootstraps, start to get a handle on the language and soak up the beautiful spring and summer weather (if it ever comes! Jesus, why is it snowing right now as I type this??? UGH), you will be so much better off as the months roll onward. Hopefully by the time you celebrate your 1 year anniversary, you will have many triumphs to reflect on and be proud of the the fight. madalin stunt cars 2

I moved here a little more than a year ago from the beaches of Southern California. Fancy that for a climate and geography change! And I was also pregnant. If you want to know what "difficult" is, give birth at the onset of winter and swim around in postpartum hormones during the dark months. That was something to write home about, trust me

But anyway, I digress. It ALWAYS gets better, if you want it to. Moving to foreign countries isn't for everyone. And even for those it is for, it requires a shit shit SHIT ton of work. Language skills, network building, learning how the system works, figuring out cultural mores so you know how to act to get what you want/need... learning that Vitamin D and sunlamps and quality jackets make a world of difference... this is the elbow grease you need to lather on if you want to make it here. You already have achieved the hard stuff - housing and a job. The rest is just fun.

Get a gym membership. Endorphins are nature's opiate, plus it will give you a space to vent, do something positive, and meet people. Take up a hobby, or better yet, come adopt one of the kittens my cat is about to have because fuck if I know what I'm going to do with a house full of cats Start a blog, write, take up sewing, start language classes, learn how to salsa, go to a new restaurant every week and try the one dish you would normally never order, just for the sake of jump starting your senses. Get a pass to the local swim hall and have a swim. Go shopping. Sign up for a half marathon and start training for it. And best of all, it sounds like you are in serious need of a vacation. Croatia is close, beautiful, and cheap as all hell. Go remind yourself that the world is big and no matter where you live, your problems will always follow you - take this time to learn something new about yourself so that even if you do throw the towel in and move back from whence you came, you can at least say it wasn't a defeat but rather just a detour.

<3 ... (hide full quote)

Where do you come from.
Why did you come to Sweden.
What is your nature of work.
How long have you been working in Sweden.
What is stopping you from returning home.