(edit title) Email to friends And unprovoked response from wife Options

[Holecutter > The Howl ...]

G'day mate,

Congratulations on the birth of your new son. As you know I'm a financial advisor to the not so rich and famous, and as your friend...by the way, where is my frigging cigar ?. Anyhow, so as to maximise on the scheme for your early retirement, I strongly suggest you start the proceedings sooner rather than later. Therefore, I suggest the following; while you still have some money left after the horrific expense from the birth of your son.

Number one, get a tattoo done on your boy's forehead, I'll explain later in the email. A number 1 will do as sons are the number one in any family. Next you now must maximise on the earning potential of your son, and here I can help immediately as I have a good friend in Hong Kong who owns several sweat shops... Mr Wong is a nice guy and actually pays his workers some money...not much, but enough to secure your early retirement. Its better than the sweat shops in India, as there they don't even feed them. Oh, before I forget, sorry to hear about your Granny getting nailed for the bank job in Sydney. Although I can't for the life of me see why your gran wanted to beat the security guard to a pulp. The poor guy was only doing his job for Christ sakes. The judge is not going to take lightly that your gran while beating up the guard she was also giving him some verbal stick...words I hear like; you ass loving pommy git, you grope my ass again and you will be wearing my geriatric mobile. I think the judge will hand down the max sentence of 20years even though your gran is 98.

Anyhow, back to basics, that OZ airline is offering cheap flights to Hong Kong as I write, so you need to book him a flight now. As for him coming back for the Xmas and summer holidays, resist you wife's temptation to have the boy take any time off...time is money. If the Mrs insists, suggest you contact any number of NGOs and have them take photo shoots of the said sweat shop and run on TV as an documantary, your Mrs will like that and the added bonus you will get paid royalities . The number 1 tattooed on your sons forehead will make him stick out amongst all the other children. All the hollow cheeked and sunken eyed children look all the same.

In the meantime I will come up with some cracker deals for investing you new found wealth.

Best Regards
Holecutter

[Johno]

Please send me your bank account details so that we can transfer funds as appropriate (I havent decided in which direction as of yet )

[Bra_billie_boy]

LOL!! Good one HoleCutter!